A Commitment to change…
I’ve got to start this out for you all by saying this. None of this comes naturally to me, I have always been a private person to a point of fault, failing to express or share, bottling up feelings at times causing harm to myself in the process. I have been in and out of therapy for Years to help with this and I’d like to think that it has assisted my mental health in several ways, especially when it has come to getting out of my own way and slowly opening up to friends and family. By no means big changes but…. Baby steps.
In today’s modern world, it still amazes me that as a generation, we advertise and announce to the world our next steps, whether it be humongous life decisions, or documenting our daily breakfast routine, and the population is hooked! We lap it up like prime time soaps. The influencer profession is now becoming a standalone profession alongside the local bricklayer or GP. You can more often than not go out for dinner and the neighbouring table will be lit up like an LED Christmas tree, and the occupants will be taking multiple angled shots of their sea of small plates. When did going out for dinner stop being… Dinner?!
This isn’t me complaining, if anything I just come across as an old, out of touch grouch. Quite depressing really, considering that I am 35 Years old and have so much of a life yet to live. Remarkable improvements in technology and health mean I could comfortably have another 65 Years on this earth and I’d like to believe that my body and mind are going to be strong enough to carry me around with ease. I have spent the last four Years working to that end, starting during the pandemic through to the present day. I’ve worked through what some might call an ‘eating disorder’, depression, lapses in focus, relapsing back into dangerously unhealthy and addictive behaviour.
This blog is something I’ve been wrestling with myself about for the past six months. The primary reason being, who gives a fuck about what I have to say?! We’ve all got our own personal problems to work through and we all have our own ways of managing. Who knows, maybe no one will read this! And that is absolutely ok. Secondly, what happens if you wonderful people do start reading this?! You might think less of me… Which is a preposterous thing to say, why should we base our decisions off what other people think?
I’ve committed to this now and what will be, will be. It is midday on the 21st of February, I sit at my counter table with the tv on, both the cat and dog asleep around me. Lola (the dog) is snoring and farting on the rug, whilst Walter the cat sleeps imperiously in his chair, basking in the midday sun. Life right now is good for me. I am proud of the recent changes I’ve made over the past couple of months, finally exiting the hospitality profession and committing to writing full time. Setting up a website and beginning to apply for brand new and exciting roles in a vocation I’m excited to be a part of.
Lola has just started to sniff around Walter, who is retaliating with impressive left hooks to the snoot. This is just the start for me, I hope. Making the effort to write more often about a subject I’ve chosen to avoid for many Years… Me.
Hopefully it is worth the read.
